Sunday, May 22, 2011

You Are Only In Control of 1 Person: YOU!

A wise man recently told me that I need to start opening up more about how I feel about things. I shouldn't let fear of what people think squash my ability to stand up for my beliefs and tell them to the world, even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy.

I always strive to tell the truth, but I have found out that I have a great deal of difficulty being honest about my feelings, not just with other people, but with myself as well. Sometimes the truth really hurts, and sometimes it may get taken personally, or someone may be offended by what I say. The important thing I have to remember is to say it from a place of loving. If it comes from a place of love, for oneself and/or others, and it isn't meant to cause harm but only bring truth, it is something to aim for. I just have to remember that not everyone "thinks" the same way I do. Experiences and beliefs take us each down our own path in life. Ultimately we are all on the same path, but every individual walks that path alone, experiencing things from their own personal perspective.

Some things that have gotten in the way of me being honest about my feelings:
1. I know what I am saying is most likely going to upset the other person
2. I know what I am saying is most likely going to anger the other person

The bottom line? I am only in control of one person: Me. I am responsible for my thoughts, intentions, actions, etc... and taking care of this body that I am very much a part of. But I am not in control of others. I can't control if they turn to sadness or anger by the words I say. My intentions behind them are only to bring about truth and understanding. Sometimes people get upset because they were hoping I will say what they want to hear. By not hearing the words they were "expecting," my words brought them suffering. Sometimes people get angry because what I am saying is something they believe too, somewhere deep down. But in their current state of mind, controlled by their ego, they don't want to hear the truth, so they become angry with my words, suffering  yet again.

This has caused me much pain for many years. I have often held my tongue to prevent others from having to suffer. But it causes me to suffer, and therefore I am not really helping anyone. By standing up for what I believe in my heart, and speaking from a place of love, I can accept myself a lot more when those people get upset with me. I have learned that it isn't really me who is upsetting them, but themselves. As long as I speak from a place of truth, love, and non-harming, I am taking care of myself so I can be better to help others. I will always remain sorry, though, that my words did bring about suffering, even if the suffering was out of my control.

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